Although the holiday season is typically a time of joy, wonder and family togetherness, the emotions are often quite different for someone who is grieving. Whether your grief stems from the death of a family member, a divorce, the loss of a job or the diagnosis of an illness, the holidays often magnify pain and sadness. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief this holiday season, the following suggestions may help you cope.

• Don’t hibernate. While your natural inclination may be to avoid contact with everyone during the holidays, know that isolating yourself will only make you feel worse. My advice is to spend time with people in your life who are supportive and caring – people who encourage you to be honest about your feelings and who will respect your boundaries during this time.
• Honor the lost. Traditions can be tricky for those who grieve. While some find comfort in annual family rituals, others find them to be a painful reminder. I suggest honoring the lost through new traditions. For instance, you might decide to toast a deceased loved one at the dinner table, or you may choose to prepare that person’s favorite foods. Whatever method you choose, remembering and verbalizing the things you loved about that person helps to keep the memories alive and encourages you to press on.
• Give back. Another great way to bring healing during the holidays is to participate in acts of service. Studies show that volunteering boosts self-esteem and decreases depression.  Giving back helps provide a constructive and uplifting outlet for your grief and can help provide purpose and meaning during this difficult time period.
• Be good to yourself.  The grieving process is physically and mentally draining. Given the already busy, stressful nature of the holidays, it is especially important to take care of yourself during this time. Part of caring for yourself means being aware of your physical and mental limits and knowing when to ask others for help.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve during the holidays. Take things one day at a time, knowing that ups and downs are a natural part of the process. You might discover that some events are just the type of holiday cheer you need, while others might unexpectedly evoke tears and sadness – and that’s okay.

David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the Clinical Director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide.

Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street
Columbus, OH 43206 or by phone at 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.