Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about ourselves, or our “self-perceptions.” How we define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors and affects our emotional adjustment.

Patterns of self-esteem start very early in life. For example, when a baby or toddler reaches a milestone, he or she experiences a sense of accomplishment that bolsters self-esteem. Learning to roll over after dozens of unsuccessful attempts or finally mastering getting the spoon into her mouth every time she eats are experiences that teach a young child a “can do” attitude. The concept of success following persistence starts early.

As a child tries, fails, tries again, fails again, and then finally succeeds, he is developing ideas about his own capabilities. At the same time, he is creating a self-concept based on interactions with other people. This is why parental involvement is key to helping a child form accurate, healthy self-perceptions.

Self-esteem can also be defined as the combination of feelings of capability with feelings of being loved. A child who is happy with an achievement but does not feel loved may eventually experience low self-esteem. Likewise, a child who feels loved but is hesitant about his own abilities can also end up with low self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem results when the right balance is attained.