Divorced parents know all too well that co-parenting comes with its own set of challenges no matter the season. But when back-to-school time comes around, schedules and routines take on added importance. As you say goodbye to the carefree days of summer and round the corner to a new school year, it’s helpful to be even more intentional about how you co-parent. The following tips are designed to help with the transition.

• Communicate respectfully. You and your ex-spouse may not like to be in the same room together, but you must find a way to communicate for the betterment of your child. That communication should occur frequently and respectfully — even in the most frustrating situations. Remember that your child is watching, and respectful communication is a sign that both of you are putting your child first.  

• Share information. When your child goes back and forth between two homes, it’s easy to lose track of important information, including everything from homework assignments to notes from teachers. Start by making sure the school (and your child’s teacher) has contact information for both parents. Beyond that, a weekly email with your ex goes a long way toward keeping the lines of communication open and ensuring that nothing falls through the cracks.  

• Share the expenses. The beginning of a new school year comes with many additional expenses, from school supplies and new clothes to extracurricular fees and after-school care. It’s only fair that both parents split the costs. Because some expenses may be discretionary, create a budget that you and your ex can agree on, and make sure your child understands that there may be limits to the spending.

• Maintain consistent schedules and rules. Kids who live under two, separate roofs learn quickly how to manipulate the system. That won’t happen if you and your ex agree to some household rules and schedules that can’t be broken. As the new school year approaches, this is more important than ever. From bedtimes to screen times, you and your ex need to agree on the rules and stay consistent.  

• Be flexible. Snow days. Sick days. And parent travel days for work. These are all realities of life, and they may occur unexpectedly. While it’s important to maintain a consistent co-parenting schedule, there may be times when you will need to be flexible. If your ex requests a change in the schedule due to something unforeseen, be willing to make the adjustment. You may need a return favor down the road.

• Attend your child’s school and extracurricular events. You need to be there, even if the relationship between you and your ex is still contentious. Remember that this is about your child, and your attendance sends a message of unwavering support. In the best-case scenario, both parents can agree to attend the events together. In addition to attending events, you and your ex should always make an effort to meet your child’s teacher.

Image by NoName_13 from Pixabay

Dr. David Lowenstein is a Columbus, Ohio-based psychologist with more than 35 years of experience. He conducts individual, family, and group therapy sessions in his German Village office and also via telehealth. Dr. Lowenstein is also available for expert forensic testimony, and for educational workshops and presentations. He is frequently called upon as an expert source for print, radio, and broadcast media. Contact Dr. Lowenstein at Lowenstein & Associates, 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio, 43206, or call 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.