Last spring I wrote a blog post about road rage. Somewhat surprisingly, it turned out to be one of my most popular posts—at least based on the number of comments and responses I received. It seems just about everyone can relate to the frustration of being cut off in rush hour traffic. That raises two important questions: Why do people get so angry? And what can they do about it?
First, it’s important to understand that anger is a normal emotion, and in certain instances, it can protect you against physical or emotional harm. Anger becomes a problem when it’s not properly managed. If you’ve ever witnessed the spectacle of a parent screaming at a coach or referee during a youth sporting event, you know what I’m talking about.
While it’s not unusual to experience bouts of anger from time to time, an uncontrolled temper can jeopardize your relationships and threaten your health. The following anger management tips may help.
- Examine your emotions. Experts often say that depression is anger turned inwards. With that in mind, stop to consider whether your anger is really just masking other emotions, such as depression, grief or fear. You may be using anger to suppress emotions that you simply can’t handle. If that’s the case, it’s best to talk with a healthcare professional.
- Recognize the signs. From sweaty palms to a racing heart, your body sends an alert when your temper is about to boil over. These are physical responses to the chemical reactions in your brain, and they create an adrenaline rush that triggers your fight-or-flight response. When this happens, you should take steps to remove yourself from the situation. And if it frequently occurs during minor incidents, such as when someone cuts you off in traffic, you may need professional help.
- Put the situation in perspective. If you take a minute to breathe and imagine a relaxing scene or happy place—or you simply take a brief timeout—there’s a good chance your anger will subside. Practice some self talk that allows you to gain perspective of the situation. You may quickly regain your composure and realize that it’s not worth getting angry about.
- Stay away from common triggers. Do politics infuriate you? Does a colleague irritate you every time you’re together? Once you’ve identified the things that set you off, do your best to avoid them. That could mean taking a break from social media platforms where politics are openly discussed. Or perhaps you need to spend less time with that person who always gets on your nerves. If you’re not sure what triggers a temper flare-up, try keeping an anger journal. Record any incidents or events that caused you to lose control of your emotions, and then look for a pattern.
- Get plenty of rest and exercise. You’ve heard it before: Exercise produces endorphins, which trigger a positive feeling in your body. Those same endorphins also help regulate your emotions and calm you down during a heated moment. Similarly, adequate sleep is essential for improving your overall mood and behavior. Sleep deprivation makes it difficult to manage your emotions, including anger.
These tips are designed to help, but if your temper explodes over small, insignificant incidents or you experience frequent rage, it’s probably time to see a healthcare professional.
David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a psychologist and the clinical director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide. Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio, 43206, or call 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.
