The end of September is quickly approaching, and the school year is in full swing. For many households, that means dealing with the daily homework grind. Unfortunately, many children view homework as punishment rather than an opportunity to reinforce what they’ve learned at school, and this could trigger a power struggle between you and your child. In some cases, parents feel like they’re constantly nagging their child to complete homework assignments, and that creates some unhappy moments. Here are seven tips that may help the process.
- Establish a consistent, quiet time for homework. Together with your child, decide on a particular time for homework. Remember that the length of time will vary according to your child’s age and the amount of work. Parents can help by modeling appropriate behaviors like reading in a nearby location rather than watching television or creating unnecessary distractions.
How this helps your child: He or she is less likely to rush through the assignments, and television viewing is controlled.
- Help your child complete one or two examples—but not every problem or question. A homework assignment that is completely accurately is an indication to the teacher that your child understands the material. That’s not going to happen if you do the assignment for your child. In fact, he or she could get frustrated and perform poorly on subsequent assignments as a result.
How this helps your child: Your child gets some attention from you, but learns to complete assignments without your help. As a result, the teacher can identify the mistakes your child is making and intervene where needed.
- Help your child organize a timeframe for difficult homework and long-term projects. Let’s face it. Some projects can’t be completed in an evening. Difficult assignments may require intermittent study breaks or they may need to be completed at a time when your child is more rested. Likewise, long-term projects require setting specific completion goals throughout the duration of the assignment.
How this helps your child: Children learn how to pace themselves, organize and manage their time, and set goals.
- Reduce the stress in your child’s life. When your child has too many extracurricular activities on the calendar, he or she may be too tired or too distracted to complete daily homework assignments. Keep the activities to a minimum; one or two is plenty.
How this helps your child: Your child learns how to avoid burnout, has time to relax and enough energy to accurately complete homework assignments.
- Recognize the limits of your patience. This is an important one for parents who are easily irritated when their child struggles with an assignment. No one benefits when tense feelings take over. It’s best to get help from a tutor, spouse or another adult in the household.
How this helps your child: Your child will learn that you, too, have personal strengths and weaknesses. Your relationship with your child is not compromised, and he or she performs better on the assignments.
- Get to the root of the problem. Children naturally make mistakes, especially when completing homework assignments. While it may be tempting to tell them it’s wrong and give them the correct answer, ask your child how he or she arrived at the answer instead. By listening to the thought process, you’ll be able to identify where he or she went wrong and then correct the problem. Even better, your child may catch the error without your help.
How this helps your child: Your child feels more secure about his or her own ability, and parents are viewed as encouraging and supporting rather than threatening.
- Support the teacher. This one is worth repeating: support the teacher. If there’s a problem, like homework assignments that are too difficult or too much, make an appointment with the teacher to discuss the issue. Don’t complain to the teacher in front of your child, since this situation may encourage your child to question the teacher’s competence and authority.
How this helps your child: Your child maintains respect for the teacher—and for you. When parents and teachers work together, children are more likely to learn and grow in a positive fashion.
David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a psychologist and the clinical director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide. Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio 43206 or by phone at 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432. You can also join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.
