Father’s Day is June 15, so it seems like a good time to talk about the relationship between dads and daughters. It’s one I’m keenly familiar with as my wife and I have two daughters of our own. A little bit later this month I’ll share my thoughts on raising sons and the importance of the father-son relationship.
This year we had two graduations in our house. My oldest daughter graduated from college, and a couple weeks later, my younger daughter graduated from high school. As they both move on to new chapters in their lives, I find myself reflecting on their growing years. Two things come to mind. First, they grow up fast. And second, there was once a time when I was the best thing in the whole wide world. Young fathers, take note. This time passes quickly. With that in mind, here are a few of my tips for raising daughters.
1. Show your daughter that you love her mom. The relationship between mother and father is the first time your daughter will see how adults act with one another. If she sees a bad relationship, she will likely think that’s the norm. When you treat her mother with kindness and respect, you are modeling that behavior, and she learns from you. Whether you do it the right way or the wrong way, that’s what she will remember.
2. Teach your daughter to do things that girls don’t typically do. Buy her a baseball glove and play catch. Show her how to change a flat tire. Send a strong message that it’s okay to do these things. She can get her hands dirty, too.
3. Dance with your daughter before her wedding day. Get up on your feet and wiggle to silly music when she’s little or dance to her favorite music when she gets older. She will remember you as someone who likes to have fun—even if it is on her terms.
4. Make sure your daughter knows that she’s as smart as the boys. There are 101 ways to do this, but begin by praising her for a job well done. If she wants to be an astronaut or an engineer, applaud her ambition. And always encourage her to do her best.
5. Be on time. During the growing years, your daughter will wait for you to come home every evening, so don’t be late. She’s counting on it.
6. Remember her birthday. Not only does she want you to remember, but if you forget, it will stay with her forever.
7. Let her know that she can always come home. This takes on added meaning as she grows up and enters the adult world. A wise person once said that daughters are like butterflies. Some day they will spread their wings and fly away. My advice to you is to make sure you enjoy the caterpillar years.
David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the Clinical Director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide.
Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street Columbus, OH 43206 or by phone at 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.
