Perhaps you’re divorced and want to start dating again. Or maybe you’ve always been single and now you’d like to connect with someone in a more meaningful way. No matter the circumstances, you’re ready to try your luck with online dating, hoping that it will increase your chances of meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right. Before you begin, however, it’s important to realize that online dating can be stressful — even frustrating at times. Here are my tips for protecting your mental health while navigating the dating apps.

• Select an app that’s right for you. Not all dating apps are created equal, so do some research to find one that best meets your needs. Some are designed to connect people with the same religion, for instance. Others are widely known to be hookup apps. Choose wisely.

• Create a good bio. Start by choosing a quality photo that you like. This creates a first impression, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. It’s important to complement your photos with a bio that highlights your strengths and conveys what’s important to you. Not sure where to begin? Think about how your friends would describe you, and expand on that. While you’ll want to devote most of this real estate to describing yourself, don’t overlook the importance of sharing what you’re looking for in a partner. Above all, be honest. This increases your chances of meeting someone you’ll actually connect with.

• Check your mood. There’s a time and a place for everything. When you’re tired or frustrated, it may not be the best time to start swiping. Likewise, you probably won’t make the best decisions when you’re feeling lonely or depressed. You could be more inclined to overlook any deal-breakers that you’d otherwise regard as a red flag.

• Take a break when you need to. Many people become frustrated or discouraged with online dating. If you’re feeling this way, it’s probably best to limit the amount of time you spend on the apps or take a break altogether. When something no longer brings you joy, step away and reconsider what’s best for your overall well-being. If you’re not ready to take a break entirely, consider setting a limit on the amount of time you spend on the apps. Similar to what you might do when social media becomes tiresome or addictive, you could set a timer that reminds you when to quit swiping.

• Meet people in real life. Yes, this article is about online dating, but it’s important not to discount the virtues of meeting people face-to-face. From the overwhelming number of options on a dating app to scammers to people who are simply dishonest, it’s easy to get discouraged with online dating. Much like social media, the apps are designed to keep you swiping. But when you’re no longer having fun, or it’s causing more grief than it’s worth, put your phone down and find ways to meet people in real life. Join a club. Attend events. Ask your friends to introduce you to other people. There’s a big world out there just waiting for you to engage with it.   

Image by amrothman from Pixabay

Dr. David Lowenstein is a Columbus, Ohio-based psychologist with more than 35 years of experience. He conducts individual, family, and group therapy sessions in his German Village office and also via telehealth. Dr. Lowenstein is also available for expert forensic testimony, and for educational workshops and presentations. He is frequently called upon as an expert source for print, radio, and broadcast media. Contact Dr. Lowenstein at Lowenstein & Associates, 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio, 43206, or call 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.