It’s November, and politics have once again taken center stage in our lives. Unfortunately, that can lead to some frustrating, maybe even contentious, conversations. Perhaps the only thing you need to do to escape the mayhem is avoid Uncle Frank at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But what if it’s not that simple? What if the person with an alternate political view is your significant other? How do you prevent it from ruining your relationship? Consider the following tips:

• Think about what’s really important. Plenty of things can happen over the course of a marriage or any long-term relationship. Career changes. Raising children. Health issues. The list goes on and on. What’s really important is how your significant other treats you when times get tough. Is there a level of trust in the relationship that you can count on regardless of any challenges or triumphs you may face? This is far more important than a person’s political views, which will likely pale in comparison to other things in life.

• Set some ground rules. If you and your significant other disagree politically, establish some boundaries that will lessen the likelihood of a disagreement. For instance, if you tune in to different news outlets, listen to them with headphones. If you’re enamored with a particular article that touts your political point of view, don’t share it with your significant other as an attempt to sway their opinion. Be sure to avoid highly controversial or potentially contentious issues. And finally, don’t get angry at your partner for having a different opinion. Remember your views may be different, but that doesn’t mean that one person is right and the other person is wrong.

• Stick with facts, not opinions. All too often people rely on emotions and opinions to state their political views. This is not only unproductive, but it can lead to hurt feelings. Instead, base your conversation on facts and avoid anything conspiracy-related.

• Be a good listener. This is true for any conversation, but especially in politics and certainly when the discussion is with your significant other. It’s not only polite and respectful to let the other person have their say without any interruptions. But listening intently could open you up to another point of view, and you might find that you share some common ground after all.   

• Keep it civil. To avoid unwanted escalation, stay calm, monitor your tone of voice, and avoid shouting or expressions of rage. The last thing you want to do is say something you’ll regret later. You can avoid this by recognizing when it’s time to take a break or end the conversation. If you suspect that the political conversation is getting out of control, keep in mind that the relationship is more important than winning the argument.

In the end, there may be times when couples counseling with a mental health professional would be helpful. Very few people want to end an otherwise healthy relationship over political disagreements. 

Image by Mircea Iancu from Pixabay

Dr. David Lowenstein is a Columbus, Ohio-based psychologist with more than 35 years of experience. He conducts individual, family, and group therapy sessions in his German Village office and also via telehealth. Dr. Lowenstein is also available for expert forensic testimony, and for educational workshops and presentations. He is frequently called upon as an expert source for print, radio, and broadcast media. Contact Dr. Lowenstein at Lowenstein & Associates, 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio, 43206, or call 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.