Think back to your own life as a child and teen. Chances are you struggled with the back-to-school transition at some point during your growing years. After all, it’s not easy to give up a carefree summer schedule for an early wake-up, new academic and social environment, and, at least for older students, plenty of homework. In most cases, however, it’s simply a case of the back-to-school jitters, and it disappears after a few weeks.

In some instances, however, back-to-school anxiety can upend your child’s academic life. It may even lead to school avoidance or a refusal to attend school. Here are a few things you can do when your child or teen experiences back-to-school anxiety that is more serious or lasts beyond those early days of the new school year.

• Find out what’s going on. You may have to ask your child what he’s worried about as it could be anything from standing up to a bully to fear that a particular subject may be too difficult. When you do, be prepared to listen, and don’t pass it off as unimportant. Simply saying that everything will be okay is not enough to ease your child’s fears. Instead, talk with your child about what he can do to overcome what’s worrying him. In short, your child needs a plan, and you can help him work through it. Role playing can be a helpful tool for teaching your child how to respond to what he perceives as a fearful situation.

• Send a positive message. Naturally you will want to talk about what your child can look forward to in school, from making new friends and seeing old friends to a fun field trip or new playground equipment. The list will vary based on your child’s likes, of course, but you should be able to identify something that will elicit a positive response. Perhaps even more important, remind your child about her past successes in school and how she was able to overcome certain challenges in the past. This is a powerful reminder to your child that she is capable — and that she can do it again.

• Plan ahead. Many children are worried about the unknowns: their first ride on the school bus, a new school, a particular teacher or subject matter – and the list goes on and on. You can help alleviate those fears by giving your child some control over the situation. Visit the new school and help your child find his classroom or meet his teacher before the first day. Similarly, teens may want to share schedules before school starts to find out if they have any friends in their classes. At the same time, don’t wait until the night before school starts to get ready for the new routine. Inadequate sleep is an anxiety trigger, so be sure to gradually adjust bedtimes several days prior to the start of school. It also helps to purchase school supplies and clothing in advance so your child feels in control of his environment.

School refusal: a bigger problem

For most kids, mild anxiety is normal at the start of a new school year. It can even happen during the year when something troubling occurs. But when your child or teen refuses to attend school, leaves school early, or consistently fails to arrive on time, it may be the sign of a bigger problem. It’s best to address this immediately. Although it may be tempting to let your child stay home to avoid the problem, that is only a temporary fix. It doesn’t take long for your child to fall behind academically and socially.

Instead, talk with your child to find out what he is trying to avoid. Once you’ve identified the problem, collaborate with your child’s teacher, school guidance counselor, and/or a psychologist to help your child solve the problem. Above all, be adamant with your child that attending school is not optional, and send a message that it’s possible to overcome what’s fueling the anxiety.

Image by svklimkin from Pixabay

Dr. David Lowenstein is a Columbus, Ohio-based psychologist with more than 35 years of experience. He conducts individual, family, and group therapy sessions in his German Village office and also via telehealth. Dr. Lowenstein is also available for expert forensic testimony, and for educational workshops and presentations. He is frequently called upon as an expert source for print, radio, and broadcast media. Contact Dr. Lowenstein at Lowenstein & Associates, 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio, 43206, or call 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.