Many of us are frustrated and overwhelmed with the looming presidential election. The amount of animosity and outright hatred associated with this election is unparalleled in modern politics. And the behavior isn’t limited to the television. Across the country relationships are being strained (or sadly, ended) over dinner tables, at churches and particularly on social media.
My parents always told me to be careful discussing either religion or politics. At the same time, it’s not good for your mental health to let your thoughts and concerns bottle up inside of you. It’s important to realize that you can disagree with others over politics and still get along with them. It just takes a dose of thoughtfulness, civility and kindness. The next time you decide to discuss politics—willingly or otherwise—try to keep these points in mind.
Be Respectful
Civil discourse should be precisely that – civil. Just because other people disagree with you doesn’t make them wrong, or bad people. It’s a healthier approach to accept the fact that they see things from a different perspective, and current trends aside, treating them respectfully should go without saying.
This includes not interrupting when other people are speaking. If you truly respect them, you will listen to what they have to say, consider their words, and put thought into your response. Whether or not they respond in kind, a truly civil discourse will never take hold unless someone takes the initiative.
Be Genuinely Curious
A political discussion can be much more than a chance to debate. It can be an opportunity to learn how people reach differing points of view, and it can add to your own understanding of a concept. Truly respecting other people includes realizing that you can learn from what they have to say.
Rather than being accusatory, politely ask other people how they arrived at their way of thinking. There will probably be more to their answer than you assumed. What they say may or may not sway your own opinion, but it can provide some insight and make you more empathetic.
Remind Yourself: Some Things are More Important Than Politics
There’s nothing wrong with being civic-minded. As Plato is often paraphrased, the penalty for refusing to participate in politics is being governed by one’s inferiors.
But regardless of who wins the upcoming election, some things will never change. Your brother will still be your brother, your mother will still be your mother, and you will still share decades of friendship with your college roommate. Think carefully before you let a political debate ruin a lifelong relationship. Even if your candidate wins, you will have lost something irreplaceable.
Discussing politics can be uncomfortable, aggravating and for some people, it’s downright terrifying. But if you treat the other person as a friend or colleague—rather than an opponent—and speak respectfully, honestly and thoughtfully, the discussion could take on new meaning.
David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the Clinical Director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide. Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street Columbus, OH 43206 or by phone at 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.
