Teach Your Children What to Do If They Witness Bullying

It’s sad to say, but bullying is on the rise in America, and it can affect your children both directly and indirectly. Truth is, research indicates that students who witness bullying may be even more psychologically affected by it than the individuals who are directly targeted.

As a parent or caregiver, teaching your children what to do when they witness a bullying incident can show them that they have your support, and prepare them for dealing with a fact of life they’re likely to encounter. Here are some guidelines for talking with your child about what to do when they witness a bullying incident.

• Don’t give bullies what they want. Bullies, young and old, generally want the same thing: an audience. Your child can take that away from them by voicing disapproval, or at the least, not laughing or cheering them on. It’s important to point out that this should be considered only if your child feels safe from any physical threat. If not, other methods can be used. At the same time, if your child witnesses a bullying incident, he or she can encourage other witnesses to speak up as well. It only takes a handful of voice to restore the balance of power.

• Remember that we’re in this together. Like any predator, bullies tend to single out individuals who are separated from the herd. Children can — and should — make a point to include victims of bullying in their regular activities and make them part of a group. This will not only have a positive effect on the victim’s self-esteem, but it can make them a less enticing target for bullies.
• Find an adult. In the majority of these situations, adults are the appropriate ones to be dealing with a bullying incident. Especially if your child feels that calling out the bully, right then and there, will be physically dangerous. Bullies often tell their victims that ‘tattling’ will only make things worse. But this is just another tactic used to assert power over the victim.
• Be aware that bullying isn’t always in person. While this type of bullying may not be as easy to witness, cyber bullying can have an equally profound effect on the victim. However, many of the same approaches for witnesses still apply. Your child can speak up, indicating that the bullying is not acceptable. He or she can also record the instance and share it with an adult.

Bullying can have long-lasting effects on your children, but if you give them the tools to address it in a healthy manner, the situation can be dealt with properly. Teaching kids that bullying is never okay and that they shouldn’t allow it to happen to others is a solid start.

David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a psychologist and the clinical director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide. Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio 43206 or by phone at 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432. You can also join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.