If you’re caring for aging parents while trying to raise a family, your life might feel like a pint glass trying to hold a gallon of water. It never seems like there are enough hours in the day to provide your elderly parents the help they need, attend to your children, work hard enough to stay employed and connect with your spouse. And that’s all before you think about your own needs, your friends, housecleaning… the list goes on.
This sandwich generation, particularly women, report feeling more stress than any other age group. And while you may be inclined to put the needs of your family before your own, you won’t be able to help anyone if you’re overwhelmed with stress.
Easier said than done, right? If you find yourself at the end of your rope, consider some of the following ways to manage your stress, and see if they’re right for you.
When you Need Help, Ask for It
Simply put, this job is too big for one person. At some point, you will need help. If you just wait for it to appear, odds are it won’t.
You may need to reach out to your siblings, your church family or someone in your social net. If no one is available, consider hiring part-time or full-time help. It may be out of your comfort zone, but it might be necessary.
Respect What The People in Your Care Can Do
Your parents may no longer be able to live on their own, but that doesn’t mean they can’t contribute to the good of the household. And the same goes for your children.
Every situation is different, but make a conscious effort to take stock of how your parents and children can contribute. Anything they can do to take tasks off your plate frees up more time for the tasks that only you can do.
Force Time for Yourself into the Schedule
It’s important to allow some time for yourself—even if it’s not as often as you’d like. This goes back to the first point: it may take some outside assistance to free up that time, but it is well worth it—not just for your own well being, but also for the well being of your family.
Don’t Miss the Trees for the Forest
With this much responsibility, your days and weeks may seem like a blur. But raising your children and caring for your parents in their later years can be some of the most rewarding things you will ever do. During the monotony, the frustration and the anxiety, there will be moments of amazing joy and satisfaction. Make time for laughter, take plenty of pictures and share the experience with others. You’re doing this for a reason, so be sure to experience the joy along the way.
David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the Clinical Director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide. Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street Columbus, OH 43206 or by phone at 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.
