Earlier this month I shared a blog post with my favorite tips for dads raising daughters. As Father’s Day approaches, it’s only right to make sure I give fathers of sons equal billing—although as the father of girls, this territory is a bit foreign to me.

Truth is, much of what I shared in my previous post about daughters also applies to the boys—especially the part about how you treat mom. The relationship between mother and father is the first time your son will see how adults act with one another. Do it right, and that’s how he will remember it and likely apply it to his own life. With that number-one tip in mind, here are a few more “rules” to remember when raising a son.

• Make sure your son knows you love him. It’s okay to say it. Sometimes it takes a little courage for a man to express his love, but if you start when he’s young, it will be easier when he gets older. Banish any preconceived notion that your son has to be tough and not express his feelings.

• Show your son how to cook and clean. Not only will you be teaching him some valuable skills for life, but you will also send a strong message that both guys and girls should help with the housework. The same goes for meal preparation, which can be a wonderfully creative skill.

• Teach him how to be a man. Again, you do this by modeling positive behavior, like treating his mother and the rest of the family with respect. Let him know that bravery and toughness are important, but it’s also okay to express his feelings.

• Be present. While there is a great deal of talk about absentee fathers, more needs to be said about fathers who are absent while in the house. Engage with your son, and don’t zone out in front of the television or iPad.

• Develop and share common interests. Build a tree house together, or read a book. Whatever it is, find a way to spend one-on-one time with your son. Cultivate a hobby or pastime that you can share together and call your own.

• Play rough. Dads are usually the ones who throw the kids around, and that can be a good thing. So roughhouse a little, and show him how strong you are. He will be impressed.

• Listen to your son. Take the time to stop whatever it is you’re doing, really listen—and don’t make quick judgments. He will soon learn that you’re someone he can come to when he has a problem—someone he can trust. Remember, there are some things that boys can’t talk to their moms about.

• Have the big talk. It’s important for fathers to talk with their son about sex and relationships. It may be difficult, but it needs to happen. Don’t take a chance that he’ll learn it from someone else.

• Focus on the positive. It’s easy to get bombarded with negative messages—especially during the teen years—but remember to focus on and celebrate your son’s accomplishments. A pat on the back from dad means a whole bunch.

David Lowenstein, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and the Clinical Director of Lowenstein & Associates, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio. In addition to providing therapeutic services to individuals and families, he offers training and consultation to numerous associations, schools and agencies around the country. Additionally, he is a frequent radio and TV guest and a resource and contributing writer for numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide.

Contact Dr. David Lowenstein at 691 South Fifth Street
Columbus, OH 43206 or by phone at 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.