If you’re the parent of a recent high school or college graduate, this summer may be a transitional time for your entire family. High school graduates may be leaving home in a few weeks, and life as they know it will cease to exist–at least for a while. Although they will be embarking on a new adventure with new friends in a new environment, they don’t really know what to expect. The only thing they know for certain is that a big change will soon take place in their life, at least that’s what everyone has been telling them. Recent college graduates are transitioning to a new life chapter as well, one that is equally mysterious but no less remarkable. Here’s some advice for the parents of grads that should help everyone in the family navigate this time of transition.
High School Graduates
If your child is leaving for college at the end of the summer, no doubt you’re a bit concerned about how he or she will manage the rigors of collegiate life. For starters, a good gauge is how they performed in high school. Were they seriously motivated, for instance? Did they seem interested in school? When they were struggling with calculus, how did they handle it? Behaviors are not likely to change when they enter the halls of ivy. If anything, it will be more impersonal since the professors will not know your child’s strengths and weaknesses. So if your son or daughter struggled during high school, college is not going to be less challenging.
What’s a parent to do? The short answer is this: Hope that you’ve given your child enough information to make good decisions. Parents of high school grads need to realize that now is the time to cut the apron strings–if you haven’t already done so. As young adults, they must learn how to make their own decisions. Yes, some will be poor decisions. But the key to maturity is learning how to make a good decision in the wake of a bad one.
This summer is a special time for your high school graduate as he or she hangs out with long-time friends before moving on to a new environment. Graduation from high school is an accomplishment that should be celebrated, so let your child have some fun with his or her friends. He or she is probably part of a close peer group and will need some time to say goodbye.
College Graduates
Graduating from college is no less daunting. Your child left home four or five years ago and has emerged from the college scene as a young adult who is equipped with knowledge and ready to take on the world. The trouble is, your child may be trying to seek employment, pay back student loans, and in some cases, return home to the environment he or she left a few years ago–at least temporarily. This is not an easy adjustment for anyone in the equation–including mom and dad.
As the parent of a recent college graduate, try to be encouraging but let your son or daughter manage things alone. Just as you did when your child left for college, it is once again time to let go. The job search may be challenging, and most graduates will start at the bottom of the ladder. While it’s okay to encourage your child not to give up, remember that you are there to help–not to take over. A temporary job may have to suffice for a while. But any first job should be viewed as an opportunity to gain valuable experience and training and make contacts.
Finally, it’s no secret that when children leave the nest, it often seems a bit empty once they’re gone. Whether this transition leaves you with one less kid living in the house or it means that your last child is leaving home, it can be a time of adjustment for you as a parent as well. I’ll be talking about the challenges facing empty-nest couples in the weeks ahead. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, celebrate this time with your graduate. Applaud his or her accomplishments. And finally, realize that it’s time to let your child go–even if that means hitting a few bumps in the road along the way.
