Self-esteem fluctuates as a child grows. It is frequently changed and fine-tuned, because it is affected by a child’s experiences and new perceptions. It helps for parents to be aware of the signs of both healthy and unhealthy self-esteem.

A child who has low self-esteem may not want to try new things. She may frequently speak negatively about herself, saying such things as, “I’m stupid,” “I’ll never learn how to do this,” or “What’s the point? Nobody cares about me anyway.” The child may exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over. Children with low self-esteem tend to be overly critical of and easily disappointed in themselves. Kids with low self-esteem see temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions. A sense of pessimism predominates.

A child who has healthy self-esteem tends to enjoy interacting with others. She is comfortable in social settings and enjoys group activities as well as independent pursuits. When challenges arise, she is able to work toward finding solutions. She voices discontent without belittling herself or others. For example, rather than saying, “I’m an idiot,” a child with healthy self-esteem says, “I don’t understand this.” She knows her strengths and weaknesses, and accepts them. A sense of optimism prevails.