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Direct from
Dr. Lowenstein

What Should You Do If Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused?


  • Remember that the person who abuses a child is to blame for the abuse—not the child! The prognosis for healing after being molested is better for children who are supported and believed when they do disclose.
  • Stay calm if your child tells you or even hints that he or she has been touched inappropriately. Your reaction may make your child feel more guilty or afraid, and he or she might have a harder time talking about it.
  • Help your child by saying some of the following: I believe you. I know it’s not your fault. I will take care of you. You did nothing wrong. I’m glad you told me about this.
  • Tell your child that you will take care of things, and that you will need to talk to someone to figure out what to do next. The biggest mistake a parent can make is to not report sexual abuse to the authorities.
  • Don’t allow any further contact between your child and the alleged offender. Don’t confront the offender yourself.
  • Call your local child abuse hotline or local police department and report the abuse. Failing to report the abuse may mean that other children might get abused, too. Don’t try to handle the situation yourself.
  • Remember that children have the opportunity to get justice and that it gives them satisfaction. Prosecution helps make sure that the abuser cannot strike again.
  • Seek your own support and comfort where the child can’t see or hear what you say. In order to avoid confusion, anxiety or guilt, children should not overhear conversations about their disclosure. Too much information or discussion can also interfere with the police investigation or prosecution.